Rage
05-07-2005, 12:18 PM
I wrote this last summer while I was addicted to Warcraft 3.
---------
The raid was successful. The small human town was burnt to the ground and we took no prisoners. There were adequate resources so I rallied my troops and set up a base camp on the top of the old human settlement. I commanded some of my troops to patrol and keep watch to prevent sneak attacks as I fortified my defenses and prepared for our next victory for the glory of the Orcish Horde. The base was easily defendable, surrounded by dense forests and cliffs. I was feeling really confidant after that last victory, perhaps too confidant. The humans brought siege weapons and blasted my watch towers. My soldiers haven’t fully recovered from the last battle and some of my defensive structures weren’t completed, so we were easy pickings. Most of my brethren fell, but we fended off the attackers. The second wave took us without warning. My troops were falling in the fray of swords and axes. A salvo of musket shots from the riflemen blew through our defenses and we lay dying in the battlefield. My last glimmer of hope vanished as I witnessed the greatest horror I have ever seen under such circumstances, massive lag. When everything eventually unfroze, my troops, my base, and myself were all dead. I slammed the keyboard in frustration and rose from my computer chair to get myself a snack. I cursed Warcraft 3 roundly. I spent over an hour on that campaign and it was my second time trying to beat it. I left the game idle at the menu screen and wandered into the kitchen. I looked in the fridge, but it lacked sandwichable meats and I was too hungry to go with a meatless sandwich. The absence of the barbeque sauce made me remember that my brother was having a barbeque with his friends somewhere behind the garage. I looked to see how many I stood against. Luck was with me, they seemed to have left to get more beer.
The raid was successful. The small barbeque was emptied and I left no surviving burgers. There were adequate resources so I rallied some buns, lettuce, tomatoes and condiments and set up burger preparation on top of the outdoor table. I kept watch constantly to prevent ambush from an early return. I fortified my burger with mustard and mayonnaise and prepared a hasty retreat to my own home base. There I plotted the victory over my hunger as I poured a Coke into a cup filled with ice. The room was easily defendable, surrounded by chairs and a table, the computer desk against the wall. I was rather proud of myself with the liberation of the barbequed meats as I sipped the ice cold beverage. But it was not a complete victory for me. They have managed to capture my CD player and my CD collection. An invaluable asset has been lost, but I shall wait for nightfall to get my revenge.
After finishing off the last burger, I go back to my game. This time there is no way for me to lose, this time I am prepared. I will get past this level and proceed with the single player campaigns despite the horrible lagging caused by my true enemy, the out of date graphics card inside my computer. After some dialogue the mission started. Nothing can stop me now. My victory is assured. I opened the message box and promptly typed in whosyourdaddy, activating the invulnerability cheat. Just try and stop me now.
----
Yeah, I'm not good.
EDIT: I haven't been to these boards in a while, so I'm not sure if I posted this last time or not. If so, then I apologize for my crappy memory.
---------
The raid was successful. The small human town was burnt to the ground and we took no prisoners. There were adequate resources so I rallied my troops and set up a base camp on the top of the old human settlement. I commanded some of my troops to patrol and keep watch to prevent sneak attacks as I fortified my defenses and prepared for our next victory for the glory of the Orcish Horde. The base was easily defendable, surrounded by dense forests and cliffs. I was feeling really confidant after that last victory, perhaps too confidant. The humans brought siege weapons and blasted my watch towers. My soldiers haven’t fully recovered from the last battle and some of my defensive structures weren’t completed, so we were easy pickings. Most of my brethren fell, but we fended off the attackers. The second wave took us without warning. My troops were falling in the fray of swords and axes. A salvo of musket shots from the riflemen blew through our defenses and we lay dying in the battlefield. My last glimmer of hope vanished as I witnessed the greatest horror I have ever seen under such circumstances, massive lag. When everything eventually unfroze, my troops, my base, and myself were all dead. I slammed the keyboard in frustration and rose from my computer chair to get myself a snack. I cursed Warcraft 3 roundly. I spent over an hour on that campaign and it was my second time trying to beat it. I left the game idle at the menu screen and wandered into the kitchen. I looked in the fridge, but it lacked sandwichable meats and I was too hungry to go with a meatless sandwich. The absence of the barbeque sauce made me remember that my brother was having a barbeque with his friends somewhere behind the garage. I looked to see how many I stood against. Luck was with me, they seemed to have left to get more beer.
The raid was successful. The small barbeque was emptied and I left no surviving burgers. There were adequate resources so I rallied some buns, lettuce, tomatoes and condiments and set up burger preparation on top of the outdoor table. I kept watch constantly to prevent ambush from an early return. I fortified my burger with mustard and mayonnaise and prepared a hasty retreat to my own home base. There I plotted the victory over my hunger as I poured a Coke into a cup filled with ice. The room was easily defendable, surrounded by chairs and a table, the computer desk against the wall. I was rather proud of myself with the liberation of the barbequed meats as I sipped the ice cold beverage. But it was not a complete victory for me. They have managed to capture my CD player and my CD collection. An invaluable asset has been lost, but I shall wait for nightfall to get my revenge.
After finishing off the last burger, I go back to my game. This time there is no way for me to lose, this time I am prepared. I will get past this level and proceed with the single player campaigns despite the horrible lagging caused by my true enemy, the out of date graphics card inside my computer. After some dialogue the mission started. Nothing can stop me now. My victory is assured. I opened the message box and promptly typed in whosyourdaddy, activating the invulnerability cheat. Just try and stop me now.
----
Yeah, I'm not good.
EDIT: I haven't been to these boards in a while, so I'm not sure if I posted this last time or not. If so, then I apologize for my crappy memory.