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Evil_Gondi
08-14-2005, 09:21 PM
Emmond the Dark Mage sat in his lair, feverishly working on his latest device. Poking, prodding, removing and replacing, his fingers meticulously working his tweezers.

"Emmond! Pop tarts are done!"

The image in his mind shattered and he was brought back to the real world, sitting in his room, fixing his clock. Cursing his love for simple snacks, he went out to the kitchen.

Snatching up the pair of cheap pastries, he bit into them, his gaping maw chewing loudly and sloppily.

"Chew like a human being!" His mother stood, arms akimbo, glaring at him. She was a short, fat woman, more homely than the ugly forest.

"I am a human being. You want be to chew like a robot." Emmond snapped.

"Don't you sass me!" The female smacked him over the head with a pot that she had been washing. She finished drying it and started cleaning a meat cleaver.

'Going to walk away while I still only have a bumb on my head.' Emmond though, shoving the remainder of his pop tarts into his mouth and chewed with his mouth defiantly open.

He returned to his room and continued his work, his imagination beginning to take over again. The walls turned to rough cut stone, his lamp now a torch. His pet gerbil turned into something that looked just as similar, but more magical.

"Emmond!"

Reality crashed into his psyche once more, his work interrupted, and likewise, his imagination. He returned to the living area of his house.

"Emmond! Take out the trash!" His father yelled at him, the smell of alcohol on his breath.

"You smell like you've had enough, old man." Emmond sneered.

"Dag burnit! You and that bartender are incahoots, aren't they?! My own flesh and blood." The middle aged and balding man started to sob and curled into a fetal position, sucking on the bottle of liquor like a baby bottle.

"Definetly had enough." Emmond went outside and dragged the trash can a whole ten feet to the curb.

When he returned inside, his mother was yelling at his father, whom was still in the fetal position and crying. Not one to waste an opportunity, Emmond retrieved a nearby camera and took a picture.

"Nothing like a Kodak moment." Emmond said, tossing the camera in the general direction of where it once had been.

Returning to his lair, his imagination fixed the ambiance to his mood. The room turned more brighter, the walls now of marble and the lamp a statue of the most beautiful thing to a young teenage boy could think of, a woman.

"Emmond! Get your sassy butt out here!"

The room shattered back to its real form. Gritting his teeth over the lack of progress, Emmond half stomped into the living room.

"Apologize to your father."

"Sorry old man." Emmond said, his words oozing with enough sarcasm, that should it have a physical, edible form, it could end world hunger.

"Mean it!!" His mother glared at him.

"I'm sorry, I mean it." Emmond said while turning around. HIs mother clenched a fist and threw one of her shoes at him. It hit Emmond's head with a loud "Clonk!"

Grimacing in his doorway, his turned around, about to let his mind be known, and some of the things were not very pretty.

"Please stop the fighting! I can't take it! You drive me to drink!!" Emmond's father said, now on his knees, gripping the hem of his wife's apron. All eyes were on him for a few moments, then, all in silence, they each left to their respective rooms, the father staying in the living room and watching his daily soap opera.

Rookie
08-15-2005, 05:48 PM
Interesting.

Constant imaginations disturbed my everyday junk, and a father with obvious social issues and an abusive mom...hmmmmm. Good thing this doesn't sound familiar to me.

Evil_Gondi
08-15-2005, 07:09 PM
Emmond sat and waited in his chair, not daring to touch his repair job. He did this for ten minutes straight, staring into nothing. Finally, he picked up his tweezers and-

"EMMOND!"

"By the moons of Rek-Shal, can I get no peace?" He quoted, before leaving his lair.

"Go take out the trash."

"I already did."

"Then do it right this time?"

"Silly woman, I'm competent enough to take out the trash right the first time."

Next door, the Maharadas heard a loud "My heas is bleeding like a- WHY DID YOU HIT ME!!?"

Mrs. Maharada was looking out her window, shielding herself with her curtains.

"Honey, did you hit their trash can coming in from work again?"

Mr. Maharada put down his newspaper and went over to his wife, grabbing her in a loving embrace and resting his read on her shoulder.

"Why Bunny, of course I did. You know I love to hear the sound of suffering when I come home, and ever since the kids went to college, I don't get to hear it often."

Mrs. Maharada gave him a small look of disgust then gave in and smiled.

"You're lucky you have a cute butt."

They watched as Emmond went outside and proceeded to issue brogan maintenance on the trashcan. Much to everyone's suprise, it went back upright.

Growling with anger, Emmond stomped back into his room, holding an ice pack to his head. He sat in his chair at his desk, pouting for a few moments before calming down. Opening up the ice pack, he took a piece of ice and began to chew on it.

He retrieved his tweezers and set to work on his broken clock. He was finally given piece, possibly granted from the moons of Rek-Shal, if they existed, and his imagination turned the room into a hospital, and he was working as hard as he could to save a hamster, albeit a robotic one.

Pluggin the cyborg hamster's tail into the wall, it lit up and start to play music.

"It lives! My creation lives!"

"Neat-o."

Reality burned out the faux oe like lemon juice in an open wound.

"Mariselle? How long have you been there?" Emmond asked with eyes taking in her latest outfit. She was wearing a pair of washed out jeans that were cut down her legs in a spiral pattern, and her shirt was baggy, yet short, hanging off the two mounds that had earned her the nickname "Marriselle Hills."

"Oh, I came in around the time you started asking for scalpels and suture. I even handed them to you." She said pointing to the sticks of bamboo and tape on his desk.

Emmond scratched his head. He had chalked it up to his imagination just getting much better. He was feeling majorly embarassed and didn't know what to say.

"Your mom hitting you again?" She gestured to the melting ice pack.

"That was actually my dad. He hit me for conspiring against him with the bartender."

"Oh, poor baby. Here, let me show you something to distract you from the pain."

Before Emmond could interject, she began to raise her shirt. Sweat began to bead on his brow. She stopped when her entire belly was shown and began to move her stomach like a wave.

"Dude, that's awesome! How do you do that?" Emmond continued to stare in awe.

"I dunno. It's just-"

"Hey Emmond, I-"

Emmond's Father stood in the door way, foot still in the air, staring at the two teenagers.

"That's my boy! Oh. your mother says I'm sorry for hitting you on the head. I'll uhhh...yeah." Emmond's Father left the room as quietly as he could, only causing more noise in the process.

The youths stayed motionless for a few more minutes before Mariselle put her shirt back down and put her shoes on.

"I think it's time I went."

"Yeah. Have a good one Maris."

"You too, ya crazy nerd."

Mariselle exited via the window and slinked off into the shadows. Emmond closed his window and raised up his shirt, trying to get his own stomach to make the wave motion.

Rookie
08-15-2005, 09:35 PM
LOL, i'm getting a kick out of these. Nice Gondi :)

Evil_Gondi
08-15-2005, 10:13 PM
And I'm just making it up as I go along, jsut liek everything else I write.

-*- -*- -*- -*- -*- -*- -*- -*- -*- -*- -*- -*- -*- -*- -*- -*-

After about ten minutes of futile belly actions, Emmond pushed his shirt back down in frustration and and turned on one of the few things that calmed him down.

"Why do birds suddenly appear, everytime you a near? Just like me, they long to be, close to you." The stereo blared.

"MA!" Emmond yelled, a form of cmmunication that was growing in popularity in the Errant household. "Why is this crap in my stereo?! Where's my Chris Botti cd!?"

"On the dresser!" His mom replied.

Emmond glanced at his dresser. "No it's not!"

"Yes it is!"

"No, It's not!"

"Yes, yes it is! Just look instead of that glance you always give things!"

Emmond rolled his eyes and gave his dresser more than a glance. "It is not here!"

Emmond's mother stormed into his room, opened up a drawer in his dresser and pulled out a cd case.

"That is so in the dresser." Emmond said sarcastically.

Emmond's mother tapped the cd case on his forehead. "Tomato, tomato."

"This isn't the correct situation for that statement."

Emmond's mother put her hands on her hips. "Why are you so snarky this evening? Are you high?!"

"What? Woman, do I look high!?"

"You certainly are acting like it!"

"Oh come off it, I know you lived in the 70s!"

Emmond's mother gasped. "Well you know what, you're grounded Mr. Snarky!"

"It's not like there is anything fun to do around here!"

"I know that on Elle girl comes around here alot, and if I hear more girlish giggles, she better be in there!"

"One time! Just one time! Let the moment die already!"

The two glared at eachother.

"That is why all the boys in town, follow you around. Just like me, they long to be, close to you..."

His mother backed out of the room, still glaring at her son. Emmond returned the glare with equal anger. She slammed the door shut and the stereo skipped.

Emmond let out a sigh. "I might as well have been born a Klingon."

Rookie
08-15-2005, 10:32 PM
hehe, i like this. Most of my stuff i get inspiration for and then have a general idea of what i'm going to do, then put it down. sometimes i base it off of coversations and try to recreate the conversation.

Good stuff ^^

Evil_Gondi
08-17-2005, 06:57 PM
Emmond woke up on the floor. He gathered his surroundings.

"This isn't my room." he said aloud.

A nurse holding a folder of papers walked in, her concentration on the forms instead of where she was going. She looked up from her papers and let out a suprised scream.

"Cheezus kid *huff* you scared the becheezus out of me." The nurse took in a few ragged breathes.

"Where am I?" Emmond questioned the scared hospital worker.

"Oh noes. We feared you might have amnesia."

"No, I know everything, I just don't remember going to sleep."

"Oh thank cheezus." The flustered nurse puts a hand on her chest. Emmond begins to question her unnotable intelligence.

Emmond gives her a 'come one already' look.

"Oh, yes, that's right. Well, I think it would be best if you heard it from the assailant."

The nurse picks up a phone and jabbers with the front desk. Emmond coughs.

"Oh yeah, could we get a Mrs. Emmond's Mom up here?"

"Do what now?"

The nurse give Emmond a questioning look.

"Last name's Errant."

"OH yeah! We need a Mrs. Errant up in room-" The nurse lets out a growl and opens up the door, looking at the number on it before returning to the phone. "10...DANGIT!"

"7." Emmond says, no longer amused by the woman's lack of a wisdom score.

"Yes! room 107."

Emmond could just tell the the front desk wasshaking their head right now.

The nurse leaves and a few minutes later, Emmond's parents enter. His dad rushes up and clutches him in a bear hug.

"Mah boy! I thought I lost ya!"

"What happened?"

"Your mother got miffed by your clamp on comment and smacked you upside the head. Hard. Hard hard. So har-"

"I get it old man."

Emmond's father sets Emmond down. "Now you're coniving against me with the girl in the bar?!" Emmond's father smacks him upside the head with a nearby tray.

As Emmond slowly blacks out, he could hear, "Now look what you did!" followed by a "OH CHEEZUS! We got two concussions in here!"