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Erling E.
09-09-2005, 10:47 AM
Warning: This is going to be quite sentimental.

I am single for the first time in almost six years. The girl I have been with since I was sixteen (I am now twenty-one, very soon twenty-two), is no longer my girlfriend. We have parted ways. I am happy about it and so is she. There is no going back, and neither of us want to do that. She has moved on, so must I. We both knew it was coming. We both know its the right thing to do. But I've never been so scared in a long, long time.

I have been together with this person - almost every day - for so many years. We have only been apart once before, last year, when we had a few weeks pause. But it picked up again. In the end it felt like we were the same person. You know you feel that way when you suddenly have this strange feeling - a few rare moments - thinking "Wow, you are actually another person". We started dating when we were both sixteen.

The years we have spent together are probably those years where you develop most as a person in your entire life. I think that is the reason why we have ended it now. We have grown too different. We want different things. Love was lost along the way. It became a loving friendship. I couldn't possibly see myself married to her 50 years from now. But again, this is frightening. Being all alone. At least she is among her friends and family.

You see, I have moved to another city. I have really no friends here. I am all alone and I live for my work right now. I have seriously never felt so alone in my entire life. In one way it feels right. This is how it must be. But at the same time I feel so terribly afraid. I don't want to be alone. I'm not going to jump on the dating scene, but I want to find the person who I can connect with entirely. The girl who is meant to be with me. You know.

I don't believe in trying a bunch of girls to see if I can find the right one. I'm far, far, far, far too "romantic". I'm not the sort of person who runs out on a nightclub and pick up girls. I don't want to cheapen my previous relationship by running out to find someone new. When she comes along, she comes along. Everything will happen naturally, I guess. Right now the only person I can think of is myself. And that's a bit sad. I'm a very social person!

Anyway. Linda, thanks for all the years we had together. I know you don't read these forums, but I say it here anyway. You really made my life worth a lot more than it ever could without you. Even though we were never meant to be, I feel rich having known you. You are a star in a universe of darkness, and you'll shine for someone who really is meant for you some day. You'll always have a place in my heart and in my mind.

Sorry for a long post.

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
F**king high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.

There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

Daiv
09-09-2005, 11:22 AM
You're not the only person who's in that situation.

It'll work out for you in one way. If not, any reason why you can't return?

Erling E.
09-09-2005, 11:29 AM
What do you mean return?

Daiv
09-09-2005, 11:36 AM
Well, in that post you mentioned you have moved cities.
I was refering to you returning there.

Unless i've got the wrong end of the stick (Which I often do).

Have you asked friends/family advice? Its often a good idea to ask someone who knows your mindset.

Erling E.
09-09-2005, 11:38 AM
Its not really a problem. I just wanted to tell you all about it. I'm not going to return, no. And I'm ok with being alone - it'll pass. I'll find new things.

I just wanted to share my heart a little bit. :-)

Daiv
09-09-2005, 11:40 AM
Yup, I got the wrong end of the stick again!

Anyway, its an experience whatever happens.

Gavin Darkhart
09-09-2005, 12:59 PM
being single can be on occasion fun.

One word of advise, stay single untill you stop needing another person around all the time. biggest relationship mistake you will ever make is rebound dating.

Once you get OK with being alone and only "think it would be nice" to have someone around THEN start looking for someone.

Erling E.
09-09-2005, 03:19 PM
Thanks for the advice, Gavin.

As I wrote, I will never jump back on the dating scene. I don't believe in going out and hunting for the right girl. She will come along eventually. And I feel bad about talking about "a new girl" even now! I feel I cheapen my previous relationship. It almost feels like being unfaithful.

Going to be hard getting used to this...

EDIT: I updated my first posting. It was written in haste, and I put a few things wrong. I also extended it a little, for anyone who might be interested. The last one made me seem a bit like a freak and I don't feel I expressed myself quite as clearly as I had hoped I would. :-)

Wooleen Shadowraith
09-19-2005, 09:35 PM
My advice is don't jump into something before you arent ready, it'll break the other's heart and yours again.

Know you're ready. Feel you're ready.

Don't make the mistake I did, I've gone out with two people who ended up leaving again because they weren't ready.

It really isn't fun.

Take some time for yourself, single really isn't all that bad. You can really get more done. *smile*

bob the goat
09-20-2005, 10:13 AM
"Wow, you are actually another person"

I know Exactly what you mean. It is a long road from here. Some of the road signs along the way are (somewhat in order): Waking up and not knowing that you are alone. Absentmindedly dialing their number. Comparing everyone (friends and girlfriends) to her. The last road sign on that road for me said “hey, you were alive before her, and now your alive after her. That chapter of your life has ended….START A NEW ONE!!!”

Soulcollector
09-21-2005, 02:00 AM
Mmm you are taking the whole thing a lot better then I would have... then I already have once...

You seem Ok, if your not, then thats ok too
Just let some time pass now, pick up a hobby before looking for friends or gals, it's a lot easier

Erling E.
09-25-2005, 03:30 PM
Thanks for all the postings! I'm quite ok, really. She has started seeing another guy, and I'm slowly starting seeing other girls. I'm in no rush, but - of course - falling in love is ever so tempting.

Calid
10-08-2005, 08:36 PM
Bah plenty o' fish in the sea bro....hit the clubs or go to church...heck shop at wal-mart

Ciarin
10-08-2005, 09:03 PM
I think he's already found his new true love.

Keaolien
10-08-2005, 11:48 PM
Falling in love IS tempting, but make sure you're not falling in love with the IDEA of being in love. You're a smart guy Erling, I know you can do it right man ;)

Binaman
10-11-2005, 05:59 PM
Wow E, you finally did it eh? If I recall about 2 years ago when I was having issues with my lady we had some coversations about it over MSN and you were talking about how you were thinking of moving on in your life. Hope all things work out for you!!

Erling E.
10-13-2005, 05:22 AM
Ciarin is right, I have met someone new. :-)

Her name is Elise Nicoline, she's two years older than me and she is studying to become a veterinary. She's too smart for a dumb person like me, really. Let's just hope she dosn't discover that anytime soon! No, seriously though, we really connect intellectually, which is a new thing for me. Lovely.

Thanks again all. Binaman, Keaolien, Calid. :-)

Dilorenzo
10-17-2005, 08:59 AM
Congrats, Erling. Glad to see things go to the good.

Whytewulf
11-03-2005, 08:50 AM
Lucky E.. and good luck..

Dang all you people and your new found happiness. May all your Valentine's Dinners Be over cooked!