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View Full Version : Ghost of Past Failures (revisions made)

Korkskrew
11-21-2005, 10:35 PM
(If you're easily offended stop reading now. I'm not in the mood to bicker, I just want to share my work and maybe make you think.)

Edit: A couple of the lines were a little weak so I made some revisions.

I'm fighting
I'm fighting to make my momma proud
So she can tell everyone
That that's her son under the flag
What's left of him

I'm fighting
I'm fighting for peace
Or what I was told peace was
So I killed a boy today
Never felt more peaceful

I'm fighting
I'm fighting for our benevolent leaders
The wealthy
And for the black ichor of freedom

I'm fighting
I'm fighting for baseball
For Jesus
For the American dream

I'm fighting
I'm fighting so I can die
Die with honor
And die with more shiny stars on my shoulder
Than the man too brave to fight next to me

WAIT!

I'm fighting
I'm fighting because I was given no other choice

I'm dying
I'm dying because I fought for what I believed in

I'm dead
Lying under the nameless grave and momma don't know
Keaolien
02-22-2006, 12:12 AM
A'ight, so I finally get around to reading your stuff man.

I enjoy the theme that you're hitting, for sure. I also definatly appricate the political message/awareness.

my only real thought on this is the same I have for every other political song out there about war, or famine, etc...I just can't understand how ya can write about something you haven't experience per-say. Now, that is just me bro, because I can't write like that. You obviously can, and, truth be told, you do it rather well.

So all in all, good song, I'd love to hear it laid down with a nice heavy bass line for sure, and a crap-load of snare....
Korkskrew
02-22-2006, 09:37 PM
It's a 4/4 over a steady double kick at 140 bpm (just a guess). It's in F minor and it's basically just a lot of high tremelo with some melodic bridges throughout.

I suppose all my knowledge of war comes from the victims. It's true I've never experienced war, but I have experienced the advertising and propaganda. If you look again, you'll notice none of the lyrics have very little to do with actual warfare.