Korkskrew
09-26-2006, 09:20 PM
Alright, word to your collective mothers. My writing talent has improved signifigantly since we last met, so Ima post some stuff kay? Don't feel the need to critique it, but I would appreciate it if you did, and likewise, I'll start critiquing the work of those who ask. Seriously, don't pull any punches, if it's terrible, tell me why. I'm trying to improve. Anyway, that aside, here we go.
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Explanation
"Have you ever seen the movie "Pulp Fiction"?"
"No."
"Good. Do you know what divine providence is?"
"Sure, it's when God comes down and helps people."
"Correct, now, would you say what we have just witnessed is a miracle? Do you know what a miracle is?"
"It's when God makes the impossible possible, so yes, I'd say this was a miracle."
"What about child birth? Is that a miracle?"
"Sure, most people seem to think so."
"Most people think the bible should be read as a textbook. By definition, child birth is not a miracle. Atheists have been having babies for a while now."
"Just because they don't believe in God doesn't mean he doesn't believe in them."
"But doesn't it? Your god is, for all intents and purposes, an idea..."
"But..."
"You'll get your turn, let me finish. Now, god is an idea. He has no tangible form, and he exists only in the minds of those who accept him. This in and of itself, is enough for those who don't believe in him. However, this is where things get tricky, because of that pesky little thing we call faith. Faith is the proverbial wrench that always gets thrown in the gears of my thoughts. Ideas cease to be ideas when coupled with faith. Faith, it's like this crack addicted catalyst, with no regard for its own safety, so to speak. You couple an idea with faith, and you can defy logic itself. Now, that's not to say it's invincible, it's just a lot sturdier, mostly because no one likes admitting they were wrong."
"Are you an atheist?"
"No, I'm an accountant."
"Touche. Either way though, this was a miracle."
"Not by your definition. This was simply a freak occurrence. god was not here, and he had nothing to do with this. Even if there is a god, he will die eventually, because he's an idea."
"I've gotta hear this."
"Did you ever see Peter Pan?"
"Play, movie or book?"
"Doesn't matter."
"Then no."
"You really need to get out... Anyway; In the script, there's a scene where Tinkerbell, this fairy creature, is dying, because people stopped believing she existed. I'm not sure if the writers knew it or not, but this was brilliant. Fairies, like all things we can't explain, are ideas, and when no one believes in them, they die. Though, if god had a body like Tinkerbell, I'd believe in him with everything I had."
"Didn't they model her after Marilyn Monroe?"
"This really isn't a productive area of discussion."
"What about Jesus? He was real."
"Indeed, but his messianic properties, were an idea. Did you ever hear the one about Jesus and Buddha golfing on Sunday?"
"You know I didn't, and you shouldn't insult religion like that."
"That's the beauty of it, the joke just insults Jesus. It has nothing to do with religion."
"Zing. How long have you been sitting on that one?"
"A couple hours. Thought about it on the ride here."
"It was pretty good. Back on track though, what do I have to do to convince you this was a miracle?"
"Dammit man, there's a logical explanation for all of this. Crack heads can't aim, cops are notoriously overzealous, and you've never been able to tie a knot."
"What about "I can't believe it's not butter"? Is that a miracle?"
"Don't get me started on that stuff..."
A quiet moon shone humbly as two hunched men became silhouettes, kicking away smoking shell casings, and scraping the dried blood of a hard days work off the bottom of their designer shoes. Reflecting their crimson stillness, seven men lay searching for their legs amongst their fallen comrades.
"So wait one second. You've explained everything, except how we weren't shredded by that wire. How did that happen?"
"Hmm, I don't know, Buddha?"
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More will come children.
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Explanation
"Have you ever seen the movie "Pulp Fiction"?"
"No."
"Good. Do you know what divine providence is?"
"Sure, it's when God comes down and helps people."
"Correct, now, would you say what we have just witnessed is a miracle? Do you know what a miracle is?"
"It's when God makes the impossible possible, so yes, I'd say this was a miracle."
"What about child birth? Is that a miracle?"
"Sure, most people seem to think so."
"Most people think the bible should be read as a textbook. By definition, child birth is not a miracle. Atheists have been having babies for a while now."
"Just because they don't believe in God doesn't mean he doesn't believe in them."
"But doesn't it? Your god is, for all intents and purposes, an idea..."
"But..."
"You'll get your turn, let me finish. Now, god is an idea. He has no tangible form, and he exists only in the minds of those who accept him. This in and of itself, is enough for those who don't believe in him. However, this is where things get tricky, because of that pesky little thing we call faith. Faith is the proverbial wrench that always gets thrown in the gears of my thoughts. Ideas cease to be ideas when coupled with faith. Faith, it's like this crack addicted catalyst, with no regard for its own safety, so to speak. You couple an idea with faith, and you can defy logic itself. Now, that's not to say it's invincible, it's just a lot sturdier, mostly because no one likes admitting they were wrong."
"Are you an atheist?"
"No, I'm an accountant."
"Touche. Either way though, this was a miracle."
"Not by your definition. This was simply a freak occurrence. god was not here, and he had nothing to do with this. Even if there is a god, he will die eventually, because he's an idea."
"I've gotta hear this."
"Did you ever see Peter Pan?"
"Play, movie or book?"
"Doesn't matter."
"Then no."
"You really need to get out... Anyway; In the script, there's a scene where Tinkerbell, this fairy creature, is dying, because people stopped believing she existed. I'm not sure if the writers knew it or not, but this was brilliant. Fairies, like all things we can't explain, are ideas, and when no one believes in them, they die. Though, if god had a body like Tinkerbell, I'd believe in him with everything I had."
"Didn't they model her after Marilyn Monroe?"
"This really isn't a productive area of discussion."
"What about Jesus? He was real."
"Indeed, but his messianic properties, were an idea. Did you ever hear the one about Jesus and Buddha golfing on Sunday?"
"You know I didn't, and you shouldn't insult religion like that."
"That's the beauty of it, the joke just insults Jesus. It has nothing to do with religion."
"Zing. How long have you been sitting on that one?"
"A couple hours. Thought about it on the ride here."
"It was pretty good. Back on track though, what do I have to do to convince you this was a miracle?"
"Dammit man, there's a logical explanation for all of this. Crack heads can't aim, cops are notoriously overzealous, and you've never been able to tie a knot."
"What about "I can't believe it's not butter"? Is that a miracle?"
"Don't get me started on that stuff..."
A quiet moon shone humbly as two hunched men became silhouettes, kicking away smoking shell casings, and scraping the dried blood of a hard days work off the bottom of their designer shoes. Reflecting their crimson stillness, seven men lay searching for their legs amongst their fallen comrades.
"So wait one second. You've explained everything, except how we weren't shredded by that wire. How did that happen?"
"Hmm, I don't know, Buddha?"
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More will come children.